There is so much hidden material here …

I give you: Clanger.

Time was he had the proper feet and pipe-cleaner arms and the ears stuck out a bit more … but hey, he’s old. You could have knocked me down with a feather when at the age of 10 or 11 I learned that clangers are pink. We only had b&w TV, so that’s probably why he’s made out of a grey sock.

What happened to the other sock, I have no idea.

Look very closely and you’ll see he’s wearing a badge depicting the XVIII Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. Another story.

I give you Steven Paul Jobs, Esq.

Do not mistake this for envy. Oh, no. I have actually become better disposed towards Steve since learning of his key role in the creation of Pixar – but that goes but a little way towards full mitigation of his crimes. I’m not expecting to bring Apple down in a day, but how much damage did Ratner do to his empire with just one badly timed speech? Oh yes, I could do some harm.