Lunch today was with my grandmother in the communal dining room at the Home for Aged Retired Empire Matriarchs. During the starter course I was surprised to think I heard a particular phrase drift over from the gaggle of little old ladies on the next table.

“Did that old lady just say something about exposed canine genitalia?” I asked my mother.

“Maybe,” she replied. We listened carefully. A few moments later, there it was again. It rhymes with bogs rowlocks.

“Yes, she did,” she confirmed.

Forensic analysis of what we could hear suggests the lady was talking about QI and Stephen Fry’s explanation of where the term comes from. I think I could have guessed. I mean, if you’ve ever seen a dog that hasn’t been Done then the reason stands out like … well, something very standing out.

But, even so. The standard of little old lady that you get today is just shocking.

Shortly after we heard a conversation starting “Of course, when my husband was at HQ UKLF …” and we felt we were back on familiar ground.

When her husband was at HQ UKLF, I wonder if he was positively vetted?